i ♥ u

i ♥ u enough,,
that it seems like i can do anything to make u happy..
i ♥ u enough,,
that it seems like i wanna do something better to please u..
i ♥ u enough,,
that it seems like i don't wanna care about ppl opinions..
i ♥ u enough,,
that it seems like ur problem is my problem too..
i ♥ u enough,,
that it seems like i don't wanna tell u my probs,,just because i don't want u to stressed out because of ur probs n' mine..
i ♥ u enough,,
that it seems like i'll be worried if i don't know anything that happen to u right now..
i ♥ u enough,,
that it seems like my mind is not working if i'm with u,,my heart does..
i ♥ u enough,,
that it seems like i don't know any other words to describe my feelings to u..
i ♥ u enough,,
that it seems like i'm sad if u do sumthing i don't like and i do sumthing bad to u bcos of it..
i ♥ u enough,,
that it seems like i'm afraid if i have to let u go one day..
i ♥ u enough,,
that it seems like i can let u go if everytime ur with me i cannot make u happy,,and the only way to make u happy is to separate with me..
i ♥ u enough,,
that it seems like i can pray for ur happiness even after all that things happened..

i ♥ u,,that much..
~till i don't know what's left to write~
n' how bout u??

-undescribable feeling-

seems like everything is fine a couple of days ago..
and in just a moment,,it's undescribable..
i know that it's all my fault at the first place..
and maybe i'm receiving my karma for all i've done to u..
cos,,really it looks like we're changing places now..
actually i know what i've done to u is not right since a long time ago..
and that's one reason why i wanna change..
but,,maybe that's not enough..
or maybe,,i already hurt u so much..
that makes u feel tired right now..

it's just a couple of days,,
not really a week,,
but,,i feel like i wanna quit this 'game of ♥'..
it's not that i don't ♥ u..
i ♥ u since the very first time u do sumthing to me that makes me feels like there's butterfly in my stomach..
there's a lot of little things that makes me ♥ u more..
it's just i keep it like a secret..
so,,u probably don't know about it..
it's just i easily lost my hope in everything i do,,
if i think,,i won't get what i want..
maybe u'r not agree with me,,my mommy also didn't agree with me..
but,,that's me..
'i don't wanna fight for sumthing i won't get'

since right now i'm standing in ur position,,
and ur standing in my position..
i know how hard it's for u at that time..
and i'm proud u can 'fight' for it for a long time..
it really shows how's ur feeling to me..
and i'm really thankful and flattered..
that in my life,,there's once a man that love me like u do..

actually i do really hope that everything gonna be fine..
and we're still together after all of this..
but,,just in case,,we're not..
i'm truly sorry for all i've done..
sorry for not 'fighting' hard like u used to do..
but,,i love u *maybe* as much as u love me at the first time..
thank you for everything u taught me..

M.I.S.E.R.A.B.L.E

hmm,,
dunno why i feel so miserable this day..
it's like my life never been so full like before..
it's seems like i can't have both of u at the same time..
if i have u then i don't have them..
if i have them then i don't have u..
why can't be together..

dunno if i do the right thing with telling u all my feeling yesterday..
at that moment,,i think i'm doing the right thing..
but,,as for now,,think dat maybe it's not the right thing to tell u my feeling..
cos' it's seems like u r playing with my feeling now..
to tell the truth..i don't like it at all..
before,,u said that i do the same thing to u..
so,,is it ur way to take a revenge on me??

it's not that i don't support what u r doing right now..
u should know that from the very first start i always support u in everything u do..
maybe i'm not saying it clearly,,but i thought u should already know..
this is some experience i want u to have..
but,,it's just there's some feeling inside that said something is not right..
don't u feel the same??
or is it just me,,the one who exaggerate things??

up till now,,
i think i still can cope with it..
maybe there will be sometime when u'll feel tired of playing around..
and maybe at that time u'll come back n' think of me n' look for me..
but,,1 thing for sure..
don't make me tired of waiting for so long..
cos i'm afraid if it takes so long,,
when u look for me,,
all u can find is my shadow,,
not the real me..

so,,actually i don't really know what to do now..
afraid that if i tell u what i feel now,,
u'll think that i don't give u any freedom..
n' u'll run away..
afraid that if i said bye for now,,
u'll think that it's me,,the one who wants to leave u..
n' u'll angry with me..
afraid that if i tell u to have fun,,
u'll play all day n' forget about me..
n' i'll be the one who will leave u cos i'm tired of waiting for u..

hmpf,,
i really dunno what to do now..
can u tell me what should i do now??
>.<

roomateQuw kembali ^^

haha..stelah ampir sbulan dy pulang indo..akhirnya balik beijing juga ^^ gak tidur sendiri lagi dh d kamar..hehe..

pagi2 sm anak2 jemput si dla d bandara..mac ngantuk2 >.< tapi,,berhubung dy soulmateQuw jadi harus d jemput..klo tidak,,kacian skali dy..hihi ^^

kopernya gendut buanget..haha..isinya titipan anak2 smua..truz bawa makanan juga..hehe..buanyak makanan dh d sini jdnya..

sore2 abis slese beberes,,crita2..haha..seru banget..ud lama gak crita2..kangen ^^

P.S: just wanna say to everyone 'it's nice to have u back here with me ♥'

♥♥♥♥

happy valentine
happy 4 months anniversary

hey,,it's been 4 months already..still can believe it..haha..
maybe for some ppl,,4 months is too short..but for me,,with all the things dat hapen in this 4 months,,4 months is so long..so,,yeah,,me a lil surprised too..haha..
hmm,,maybe not long enough to say long..but it's long enough to say it's not short..haha *dunno if ppl understand what i mean*

he's not here by the time valentine comes >.<
so,,we don't 'celebrate' our 1st valentine day..
but,,tomorrow he'll be going back to beijing,,with a lot of my things my mom-give-to-my-besties-to-be-given-to-him-so-he-can-give-it-to-me ♫lalala♫ a long way for the things to reach me huh??

a lil' note for him:
sorry if i always make u sad,,angry,,upset,,n' not happy all the time >.<
sumtimes i don't do it on purpose,,though sumtimes i do it on purpose too..haha..
only to see ur *hmm,,how to describe it yah??* face with all of the above expression..
but,,i'm doin it just for fun *oups,,dun be angry hunny ^^*
so,,don't take it seriously..haha..cos i dunno what to do if u take it seriously >.<
there r a lot of times i'm thinking to end this relationship,,and we do for 1 time end it,,but till now i'm thankful dat we're together again n' i'm having u by my side ^^
thank you for everything u do to me..
luv u ^^

新年在北京。。

恭喜发财。。
祝你新年快了。。
身体健康。。
万事如意。。

not going home for this event T.T
so,,me n' my 2 gals made our own way to celebrate this event..haha..

here in China,,ppl said 'on chun jie,,u have to eat jiao zi'..and coz' we still have a lot of flour to make jiao zi dough..so we decided to make jiao zi by our selves..on our way back from shanghai,,jel n' tin watch some *air news* (dunno what the name is,,haha,,it's the news that being broadcast in the plane) and it's said that if u make jiao zi u should add a lil coins inside (1 fen coins) to bring luck for the ppl who found dat coins in their jiao zi..so,,we also try adding the coins..haha..n' bcoz we all want to be lucky,,so we put 3 coins there for each of us ☺

we made the jiao zi from the day before the festive..but it's too much,,we're hungry and there's none to satisfy our hunger..so we decided to eat some of the jiao zi..haha..luckily we still had enough jiao zi for the real festive ^__^

all day long i can hear the sound of fireworks..from morning till evening till midnight..and bcoz all of us curious to see how's chinese ppl celebrate their new years,,we go out to see..there's a lot of ppl playing fireworks on the road..non stop..pretty fireworks,,colorful fireworks,,noisy fireworks,,small fireworks,,big fireworks,,u named it n' they have it..angel, who-claim-herself-as-a-fireworks-expert, help us to see which fireworks should we see just by hearing the sound..haha..coz' rilli a lot of ppl play n' we dunno where to see..it's like u stand on 1 point n' u can see ppl playing fireworks in all kind of directions..

at 11.45 p.m onwards the fireworks is getting bigger n' bigger..it's in the middle of the night,,but the sky is so bright bcos of the light of a lot of fireworks..also,,u can't see clearly..there's a lot of smoke from the fireworks n 'petasan' *i-dunno-what-their-english-named* haha..but it's the red thing chinese ppl used to celebrate the happy things..and if i'm not mistaken it's used to send away bad luck & the other which is not good..haha..it's a lil weird but my laoshi, a chinese ppl, said that she loves the smell of firewors & 'petasan'..

i'm back..

think dat i already abandoned this blog for so long >.<
seems like i already forgot what i used to love..
and just now i missed to write on this blog..
mmh,,actually not really just now,,haha,,
i already missed it for like a couple of weeks..
but i'm just to lazy to open the web n' start writing..haha ^o^
hope dat i still hv that passion from before to be able to write..
n' hope i'm not too lazy to write,,haha..
cos' i have a lot of thing in my minds..
n' now they're waiting *not-so-patiently* to be edited..
so,,hopefully i can fulfill 'their' wish..hehe..